Today in church I looked down at this little boy and my heart filled with so much joy. After struggling for two years with infertility and being told I would never carry a child I feel so extremely blessed to have such an amazing little boy in my life. He constantly brightens my day, pushes me to my limits, gives me multiple heart attacks and then with perfect timing comes over for snuggles. He calls me every thing except momma until he is really mad or upset then the only word he knows is momma. We dance whenever music comes on and party with every little victory. Everyone laughs when his adorable and contagious belly laugh fills a room and smile as he struts by. After two years of trying we truly received the biggest blessing in Dillon. Today in church I was really struggling I watched a new big sister loving on her new little sibling and it took all of me not to cry. We again are facing infertility only this time the treatment that helped Dean and I have Dillon isn't working and im struggling as I know we are running out of options. Then I look down just as this little guy turns the corner to come sit next to me and I am reminded what a blessing it was to have him and how many others don't ever get to experience the joy of carrying a baby. But I will no longer lie when someone asks when we are going to try for another, I will be honest and tell them that we have been and are struggling because for the past eight months I have smiled, fought back tears and made up some timeline when we would start trying. God is already answering prayers, Dean got this new job with AWESOME benefits including infertility, IVF, AND adoption. At this point we are just continuing my medicine and praying God guides us to our next child whether through this medicine, IVF, or adoption. We know he has a plan for us and we are turning this over to God as we listen for his guidance. We will wait until the new year to pursue other options but for now we pray and await the amazing plan God has for us and love on our adorable little man. I have always been one to plan but know that I need to turn my life over to God and TRUST in his plan.
