Dean was working his second job close to home not at the hospital so I had decided to switch cars with him to save gas and I would drive his small car out to the hospital.
At my appt my dr looked at my swelling, the blood pressure charting, and took my blood pressure in office and saw it was elevated. He sent me to labor and delivery and told me if my blood pressure remained high he would be recommending we deliver that day, otherwise we would be moving it up to 37 weeks.
I called Dean and had him head to the hospital and it wound up being perfect he had my car because he was able to stop by the house and grab our carseats and hospital bags. We hadn't put anything in the car yet and If he would have had his car it wouldn't have fit.
We were monitored for 5 hours at the hospital. I was having consistent contractions that I hardly felt and didn't realize were contractions and was barely starting to dilate. I had a headache that medication would bring from a pain scale of 6 to a 4 and my blood pressure although slightly elevated wasn't enough to deliver so we figured we would be discharged. When the dr came in to discuss our plan Dean and I were ready to head home and deliver in a week. The dr asked about my headache, when I told her it was a 4 she said she was under the impression it was gone and said ok then we are delivering today. Dean and I sat there completely caught off guard we were sure we were heading home. They started my iv medication for the csection and brought in deans scrubs for the OR. It still seems surreal how quickly it all happened.
Once in the OR baby B's heartbeat dropped drastically and they ran to get an ultrasound. I was sitting on the bed in position for the spinal tap only to have everything put on hold while they checked with the ultrasound. Luckily her heart rate went back up because if it was still low they were going to have to put me completely under.
My spinal tap was the easiest one I have gotten I only felt the numbing shots but this csection I felt more pulling and pressure then my previous two.
Right before they brought Dean in the called for the NICU team which I know is standard procedure for premature babies but it still made me nervous.
The surgery went amazing and before we knew it they were pulling out baby a. She didn't cry at first but when they let me touch her and see her through the clear curtain they were able to get her crying. Immediately when I saw her I told Dean I thought we were going to be switching babies names, Baby A was going to be Brooklynn because to me that's who she looked like. I had a dream a few weeks prior and Brooklynn had brown hair and Adelynn was blonde. We saw her for about 30 secs before they went to evaluate her. The nurse put the solid curtain back up and said to let her know when they were pulling out baby b and the dr responded she's already out. Not even a full minute passed between the girls being born. Adelynn also wasn't crying at first but they got her to start crying before handing her off because she had fluid in her lungs. Baby A had blonde hair and that's when I told dean I really felt like we needed to switch their names. He agreed.
Baby A Brookylnn Grace 713pm
Baby B Adelynn Joanna 714pm
Both girls went to be evaluated with Dean and I got to hear their Apgar scores of 8 and 9 which was amazing knowing they were both ok.
After they finished closing me up they wheeled me to recovery but on the way stopped so I could peak at the girls during their nicu evaluation. I was taken to recovery and had to wait about 20 mins before they brought the girls and Dean to me. When they wheeled the girls in I asked to do skin to skin expecting one at a time and the nurse handed them both to me. At that second it really set in we had twins.
From here it gets a bit fuzzy, I remember not feeling great but that's expected after a surgery but then I started to hemorrhage. The drs worked quickly and slowed the bleeding and we were able to move to the mother and baby unit.
I cannot tell you how long we were in the room because again everything for me is a blur. I remember we had just gotten ready for bed and Dean laid down on the chair next to me. I said Dean I'm not feeling great and that's the last thing I remember.
Next thing I know deans standing on the other side of the bed and drs and nurses are literally running in. I was covered in throw up, extremely exhausted, and confused. They start asking my name, where I was, and why I was in the hospital and I hear one of the nurses say when she came in I was unresponsive and my tongue was hanging out the side of my mouth. Another dr reads my blood pressure 38/27 and that's when chaos really started. I looked at Dean and asked him what was happening because I thought I had fallen asleep. He said I started gagging but couldn't respond and my eyes were open but glazed over so he ran for help.
I can 100% say Dean saved my life and if he had not been in the room or had not woken up I would not be here today.
15 drs and nurses came in and starting working on me along with the rapid response team. They were pulling handfuls of blood out as they were trying to locate where the bleeding was coming from and would push on my uterus and dean said it looked like someone stepped on a water bottle with how much blood would come out. I had 3 blood transfusions and they inserted a balloon (jada) to help suction the blood. They were pushing so many meds, at times they weren't sure 3 IVs were enough. I kept falling asleep and coming to to them still working on me. They finally got it under control my blood pressure stabilized and they transferred me to a higher care post partum unit. The rapid response team asked if I needed an ICU bed and my nurse said no we will monitor her we want to keep her with her babies, for that I will forever be grateful.
The next day I had to have a fourth blood transfusion and plasma transfusion but was starting to feel better. As the day progressed I realized even more so how critical my hemorrhage was.
One of the nurses came over to check on me and said she had just seen me being wheeled out to postpartum and was so excited for the twins then when she got to the room for the rapid response call her heart dropped as she saw me bleeding out and hemorrhaging. Hearing those words almost broke me, the reality of how close it came hit me like a ton of bricks.
I found out another one of my nurses personally ran to the blood bank to grab the blood because they didn't think I had time to wait for the blood bank to get the order and get it to me and knew if anything was missed I would run out of time.
One of the residents came in and said he was amazed to see how well I was doing today after everything I went through and when he heard my blood pressure was 38/27 he was shocked I was still alive.
All of these moments weighed extremely heavy on me. I really struggled. Struggled with the fear of going to sleep and possibly not waking up, struggled with the fear of moving and starting to bleed out again, struggled with the fear of not ever healing and not going home to my four kids. I also realized what a blessing it was we couldn't have visitors under 18 due to COVID because if we were allowed to there it is a very good chance the boys would have been in the room when everything happened.
It was a hard day and on top of that they needed me moving and sleeping to be able to watch vitals and bleeding to make sure things were improving. I had to face every fear head on and finally fell apart with Dean and asked him to walk me through every moment. We both cried, and he said he has never been that scared in his life, he is a nurse and mentioned he had never seen that much blood come out of a person's body. Before each of my deliveries I would have a talk with Dean and we would go over how we wanted the kids raised if something were to happen to me. I know there is a possibility with every surgery but didn't realize how close I would get to it becoming our reality.
Yesterday was hard, but then we faced the hard together and it got better. After 36 hrs of no sleep, I finally got some sleep, I was up and moving (slowly & painfully but moving)and we were on the road to recovery.
For the first time I stood up and looked at the girls cuddled together in their bassinet. It was a moment I won't ever forget. I could see them from the side but since I wasn't allowed to stand for 36 hours I never got to look down and see how they cuddled together or look at their differences or just admire that I had two babies.
Dean would show me pictures or I would hold them but the first time I got to stand up and stand at their bassinet looking in at them, I cried.
I didn't realize it was a moment I had missed or how much it would mean to me but it meant the world.
I got to look at my babies, I was able to feel part way normal, and most importantly I knew It meant I was healing and would be able to go home to all 4 of my babies and watch them grow up. Something I previously took for granted but will forever be grateful from now on that I get to raise my kids, watch them grow, and be a mom. It can so quickly be taken from you and I really didn't know if I would be able to go home to my family.
There was one big thing I took away from everything that happened. I have always been scared of death and how painful it would be. But even though I was struggling on the outside as I was unresponsive I have no recollections of it, I seriously thought I had fallen asleep. If that Is what dying will be like its not scary it was extremely peaceful. Even though it's hard on those around you who see you suffering, for me, I was sleeping.
We were discharged Sunday evening and It felt so good to be united as a family of 6.
We weren't positive we would be discharged as we had to get every doctor to agree and the twins had to pass a carseat test so we didn't tell the boys to make sure we didn't get their hopes up for nothing. Once the girls passed the carseat test we were wheeled out pretty quickly after so decided to just show up and surprise them. They were eating lunch and were so excited and shocked when we walked through the door. They didn't even know how to react but quickly came over to meet their sisters and wanted to hold them. They each immediately took to a twin and the funny part is they chose the twin that most resembles themselves. Dillon wanted Brooklynn and Mason wanted Adelynn.
I was in a lot of pain and this recovery has definitely been my hardest. I still struggle a lot with everything we went through. Seeing blood even if not mine really triggers me. Any increase in my post partum bleeding and I start to panic.
The Monday after being discharged I passed two large clots the size of tomatoes and I had to rush back into the hospital. Luckily everything was fine and they said after everything i went through the clotting was normal and unless the bleeding became significant I would be fine.
We are officially 2 weeks post partum and starting to feel like everything will be ok. I had my staples removed and had to once again go to labor and delivery because my iron is extremely low so I needed my 7th iron infusion. This one was much different then my last 6 because instead of them monitoring the babies during the infusion I was able to hold them and be reminded just how blessed we are.
We are still recovering and have a chance of complications up until 6 weeks post partum but are praying everything will continue to improve and heal. I am constantly thanking God the girls were healthy and strong and we have finally completed our family.
Some fact on the girls
We switched their names at the last minute because I felt like baby A looked more like a Brooklynn and Baby B fit more like an Adelynn.
We also changed Brooklynn's middle name to Grace at the last minute. We felt it was by the grace of God we got these two miracles.
Adelynn swallowed a lot of fluid and needed extra suctioning after birth, she also will need a hip scan at 6 weeks since she was breech when she was born.
Brooklynn has a slight deformity on her foot but they are expecting it to correct itself as it grows. It is already so much better!
On Tuesday at the girls first appt Brooklynns jaundice levels were elevated and they were talking about admitting her to NiCU for light therapy. They ran blood work and actually had to draw blood from both her tiny hands to gelo opoot enough and thankfully decided she didn't need to be admitted.
Brooklynn looks just like Dillon as a baby and Dillon has claimed her as his baby
Adelynn is identical to Mason in appearance and attitude and the two have already bonded as well.
I want to say a huge Thank you to our family and friends. Thank you to my parents and sister and brother in law for watching the boys while we were in the hospital and all of the appts following discharge. And thank you to everyone who has reached out with prayers and support and have bought us meals or offered to come help or bring food. We appreciate all of it and could not have gotten through all of this without all the love and prayers and help.
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