Social anxiety

I have always been very shy and as I have shared in previous blogs suffer from depression and anxiety. But something that started after I had Dillon was I have very bad social anxiety. It's not even shy, I seriously have panic attacks over it.
The idea of going somewhere makes me anxious but add meeting up with people or being gone for more than an hour and my palms are sweaty, my heart races, and I just want to cancel every plan I have.
It doesn't even have to be going to meet people even having people over gives me anxiety and it doesn't have to be new people or people I hardly see but even people that I love dearly.
That's my honest reason why I don't hangout very much anymore or grab lunch with friends. I have always been shy and well a bit antisocial I guess but more well I'm a home body but that was by choice now its due to anxiety.
The anxiety starts when I start making plans but I can usually talk myself down, then I wake up the morning of those plans and find every thing I possibly can to stay busy and not think about it. Then I get ready and get Dillon ready and start having a full blown panic attack. Once there or once friends come over I always have fun and am happy I was actually able to go. Then comes the drive home where I second guess everything I said and question if I looked like an idiot, offended anyone, talked enough, how Dillon was, how was I with Dillon (did I pay to much attention to him?), etc.
Another part of the social anxiety is big groups, if there are alot of people or conversations happening at once I start to freak out and just want to leave. Even in aisles at stores if there are to many people I will wait for it to calm done.
It is really odd and I have no idea why it has started but it is the reason I didn't have many people over once we got settled to meet Dillon or why I say "we need to get together" but never follow up, it is the reason I am very quiet in big groups and hardly ever invite people over.
Even writing this blog gives me anxiety and I have questioned writing it a million times. I don't want people to not make plans with me because they don't want to stress me out, more I want to explain why I have been distant and let you know if I reach out at all even via text I truly value our friendship and do want to see you its just is a little harder but I am working on it. And am going to stress myself out and push myself to join a mommy and me class so Dillon can be around kids and hopefully I can get through this.
I also started blogging again to relieve stress and hopefully help other moms know they aren't alone and let everyone know I love them and value them and am trying.