Breastfeeding

With Dillon I was not allowed to breastfeed, between the infection, 7 different antibiotics, and my milk not coming in I had no choice but to formula feed which I didn't mind, fed is best and he was happy and gaining weight. But I wondered if I would ever be able to breastfeed because my mom's milk never came in on time and since my milk didnt come in with Dillon I was told it could be hereditary.
With Mason I was determined to try and bought everything I could so I would be prepared. With Dillon I was able to give him colostrum for the first 12 hrs until my infection started and he had a GREAT latch and immediately found it when placed on my chest he was an easy Breastfeeder. With Mason I just thought it would go the same but it didn't. He didn't try to find the breast so I would have to wake him up and try to get him to latch then he had a tongue tie and wouldn't latch right which caused pain. Luckily his tongue tie has stretched, his latch is great, and there is no more pain but it still is harder than I expected.
I GIVE ALL BREASTFEEDING MOMS MAD CREDIT!!
Mason eats roughly every hour and a half to two hours if I'm lucky (sometimes it's every 45 mins to an hour). I seriously feed ALL day unless I pump and then take a break by giving him pumped milk from a bottle. Luckily he has no problem with nipple confusion. I didn't realize how much breast feeding takes, it's not like a bottle fed baby that rests in between feeds and goes 3-4 hrs easy in between feeds and you can't really take a break unless you pump but then you are attached to a pump for at least 10 mins. You really don't get a break when you choose to breastfeed.
They also a rent kidding when they say baby can smell you, sometimes it's so hard for me to calm him because he can smell me and thinks he should be eating if he is with me. So its challenging to only be able to calm him by feeding him.
Then comes all the questions with breastfeeding, can I take this medicine or use this oil while breastfeeding? Is he getting enough? Is he still hungry or just fussy? Is he gassy from something I ate? How is he still eating (some days I have fed 3 hrs straight)?  With formula most of these arent issues.
Then comes all the changes with your breasts. I didn't realize how easily they get engorged and how painful It really is. If Mason goes over 3 hrs (usually when we supplement with formula) and I haven't pumped OMG I'm dying. I never expected that, i have heard of the cracking and bleeding but never heard about the pain and how often you get engorged.
But through all of this I'm not complaining more just saying how I was unaware just how hard it is to breastfeed and truly understand why they say nursing mom's are superheroes. Especially with the fact that breastfeeding is also very exhausting emotionally and physically. I totally believe now that you burn on average 500 calories while breastfeeding because it literally drains you.
But I'm proud to say I'm still breastfeeding even though we have started supplementing at night because he just isn't getting satisfied with my milk at night but that's ok again FED IS BEST.
Also I'm not saying formula feeding is easy it comes with it's own set of demands and challenges.
FED IS BEST. And being a parent of a newborn is hard, exhausting, and challenging no matter what is best for each baby.
I have considered giving up a handful of times but with it being cold and flu season I know breastfeeding is a major plus and I feel like this is something I never expected to be able to do so just giving up isn't an option because I feel lucky I have the chance to breast feed. Will we make it a year probably not but we have made it four weeks and I'm going to take it day by day and hopefully make it at least 2 months and see from there. This hasn't been easy but it's worth it.