Update on Dean:
These past few weeks Dean has had some weird symptoms of thyroid issues so we reached out to his Doctor who agreed something wasn't right and ordered tests.
Thursday afternoon we got the results of the first tests and to be honest they scared me. His TSH level was extremely elevated (should be below 3 and was 34). This meant one of two things: 1) his medication dosage just isnt high enough 2) his cancer came back. We again reached out to his doctor, hoping for so reassurance that it was just medication, and asked if this was a reason to be concerned the cancer was in fact back. Friday morning he responded that he had already ran further tests to see if in fact the cancer was back but to up his medicine dose in the mean time and we should have results in the next few weeks. This was not the answer i was hoping for but we took a deep breath, prayed, and knew God would get us through whatever it was.
This evening we heard from his doctor, his thyroidglobulin levels are down from 27 when he had cancer to 1 point something!! So his doctor believes it is just that his medication dose was too low. THANK GOD
He will take the higher dose for 6 weeks and then retest, if all is good then he will retest in April and do a ultrasound just to be sure there is nothing suspicious.
He is still waiting to schedule his follow up brochoscopy and hopefully that will all be good results as well.
Its still weird to me to think Dean had cancer and its moments like these that are reminders. I think why it doesnt seem real is because we had so much going on and had no choice but to face it and move forward. We also went into the surgery thinking it wasnt cancer than were shocked to find out it was but the main treatment (surgery) was over so we didnt have time to sit and worry about options or stages or if it had spread, that part was over and he just had to heal. So it really all seems surreal and like he just had surgery, its when we have to do follow up checks and testing that we both really realize he had cancer.
We are so thankful it was caught and treated and that so far it looks like the treatment worked. We are still praying it us just a doage issue but are choosing to not worry and trust in God's plan.
Saturday, February 3, 2018
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Different yet alike
I can't believe how different and yet how alike both my boys are. The older Mason gets the more they look alike but their personalities are completely different and how they were/are as babies is completely different.
Dillon formula fed
Mason breastfed
Dillon constantly spit up
Mason rarely spits up
Dillon always had fists and arched his back
Mason is very relaxed (except for a few hours of fussing)
Dillon hated his carseat
Mason doesnt mind it (except at night)
Dillon slept in his crib from night one
Mason refuses the crib
Dillon could be comforted by various people
Mason wants momma
Dillon refused pacifiers
Mason loves his wubbanub
Dillon hated to be swaddled or wrapped up
Mason loves being wrapped in a blanket
Dillon had blonde hair
Mason has brown/red hair
They both do love baths and their baths bring them comfort
They both lost the hair on the top of their heads and look/looked like little old men
I always thought Dillon grew so quickly and was always at the top of the growth chart because he was formula fed but now with Mason I realize we just have big kids because Mason is following right in Dillons footsteps with growth even being breastfed
Mason wants momma
Dillon refused pacifiers
Mason loves his wubbanub
Dillon hated to be swaddled or wrapped up
Mason loves being wrapped in a blanket
Dillon had blonde hair
Mason has brown/red hair
They both do love baths and their baths bring them comfort
They both lost the hair on the top of their heads and look/looked like little old men
I always thought Dillon grew so quickly and was always at the top of the growth chart because he was formula fed but now with Mason I realize we just have big kids because Mason is following right in Dillons footsteps with growth even being breastfed
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Mom life
Having a newborn isn't easy, having a toddler and a newborn is no joke. Some days I feel like I'm drowning and so overwhelmed and other days (like today) are exactly how I thought having two boys would be.
Today Mason is 5 weeks old and I'm colmpletely back to being able to do everything with out worrying about my incision.
We don't get much sleep and the boys I swear are teamed up together to take turns sleeping so I don't get sleep but it's ok because they are worth it and it gives me time with each of them alone while the other is sleeping.
For the most part Dillon has done amazing if anything he loves his brother too much and doesn't want to keep his hands off of him. He definitely was expecting Mason to be born older and already ready to play but he is enjoying the fact that Mason is already more alert. I love how every morning the first thing Dillon does is ask where "Masey Bear" is and goes over gives him a kiss and in the cutest voice says I love you and when we're driving and Mason is mad about the car seat Dillon tells him it's ok were almost there lol so cute. But don't get me wrong sometimes his jealousy shows and tantrums are a new occurrence with him but he's already getting better and we know this is such a huge change for him as well. The hardest part is explaining to him why momma has to feed him especially with how much Mason eats, if it's been a rough day Dillon insists Mason isn't hungry and eo3snt need to eat lol. Dillons loves taking baths with Mason but his favorite thing to do is grab my nursing pillow and hold Mason on his lap. Dillon is definitely happy momma can pick him up again and we are getting out of the house more which he loves. We are trying to plan special outings with Dillon to make the transition smoother and help us all get some fresh air and have fun.
Mason is growing like crazy and eating nonstop. He has his fussy hours at night which isn't easy especially nights before Dean works because then I am up all night with Mason and up early with Dillon but some nights he is just awake and not fussy which is so much more fun (obviously). He is starting to coo and play more on his mat or in the bath and his vision is getting stronger so he actually likes to look around and watch the soothers.
Dean started back to both jobs this week which is definitely a bigger challenge it means 3 12 hr shifts and 2 8-10 hr shifts but he loves his jobs and it allows me to stay home with the boys.
Some days are hard especially if Dillon had a rough night, some days we don't get out of pajamas and nothing gets done, but other days make up for it with adventures and days full of playing. Some days I'm so tired I feel like I could collapse but other days I get a little more sleep and can actually be productive. I don't know the last time I did my hair and showers are usually short because either Mason is hungry or Dillon wants momma. Meals are eaten with one hand and eaten as fast as i can, most of my days are spent feeding Mason and playing with Dillon at the same time, and we have had to cancel plans due to a fussy baby (thank you to my family for taking Dillon so he doesn't have to miss out), and take 5 times as long to do anything between stopping to breastfeed and just trying to get out of the house but all of this chaos is worth it because my heart has never been so full. I worried how I would have enough love for both of them but somehow I seem to love them both even more. I feel so blessed to be their momma and am so excited for the months and years to come. Even though the nights are long and some days are rough I wouldn't change it for the world because I have been so incredibly blessed by these little boys.
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
Breastfeeding
With Dillon I was not allowed to breastfeed, between the infection, 7 different antibiotics, and my milk not coming in I had no choice but to formula feed which I didn't mind, fed is best and he was happy and gaining weight. But I wondered if I would ever be able to breastfeed because my mom's milk never came in on time and since my milk didnt come in with Dillon I was told it could be hereditary.
With Mason I was determined to try and bought everything I could so I would be prepared. With Dillon I was able to give him colostrum for the first 12 hrs until my infection started and he had a GREAT latch and immediately found it when placed on my chest he was an easy Breastfeeder. With Mason I just thought it would go the same but it didn't. He didn't try to find the breast so I would have to wake him up and try to get him to latch then he had a tongue tie and wouldn't latch right which caused pain. Luckily his tongue tie has stretched, his latch is great, and there is no more pain but it still is harder than I expected.
I GIVE ALL BREASTFEEDING MOMS MAD CREDIT!!
Mason eats roughly every hour and a half to two hours if I'm lucky (sometimes it's every 45 mins to an hour). I seriously feed ALL day unless I pump and then take a break by giving him pumped milk from a bottle. Luckily he has no problem with nipple confusion. I didn't realize how much breast feeding takes, it's not like a bottle fed baby that rests in between feeds and goes 3-4 hrs easy in between feeds and you can't really take a break unless you pump but then you are attached to a pump for at least 10 mins. You really don't get a break when you choose to breastfeed.
They also a rent kidding when they say baby can smell you, sometimes it's so hard for me to calm him because he can smell me and thinks he should be eating if he is with me. So its challenging to only be able to calm him by feeding him.
Then comes all the questions with breastfeeding, can I take this medicine or use this oil while breastfeeding? Is he getting enough? Is he still hungry or just fussy? Is he gassy from something I ate? How is he still eating (some days I have fed 3 hrs straight)? With formula most of these arent issues.
Then comes all the changes with your breasts. I didn't realize how easily they get engorged and how painful It really is. If Mason goes over 3 hrs (usually when we supplement with formula) and I haven't pumped OMG I'm dying. I never expected that, i have heard of the cracking and bleeding but never heard about the pain and how often you get engorged.
But through all of this I'm not complaining more just saying how I was unaware just how hard it is to breastfeed and truly understand why they say nursing mom's are superheroes. Especially with the fact that breastfeeding is also very exhausting emotionally and physically. I totally believe now that you burn on average 500 calories while breastfeeding because it literally drains you.
But I'm proud to say I'm still breastfeeding even though we have started supplementing at night because he just isn't getting satisfied with my milk at night but that's ok again FED IS BEST.
Also I'm not saying formula feeding is easy it comes with it's own set of demands and challenges.
FED IS BEST. And being a parent of a newborn is hard, exhausting, and challenging no matter what is best for each baby.
I have considered giving up a handful of times but with it being cold and flu season I know breastfeeding is a major plus and I feel like this is something I never expected to be able to do so just giving up isn't an option because I feel lucky I have the chance to breast feed. Will we make it a year probably not but we have made it four weeks and I'm going to take it day by day and hopefully make it at least 2 months and see from there. This hasn't been easy but it's worth it.
With Mason I was determined to try and bought everything I could so I would be prepared. With Dillon I was able to give him colostrum for the first 12 hrs until my infection started and he had a GREAT latch and immediately found it when placed on my chest he was an easy Breastfeeder. With Mason I just thought it would go the same but it didn't. He didn't try to find the breast so I would have to wake him up and try to get him to latch then he had a tongue tie and wouldn't latch right which caused pain. Luckily his tongue tie has stretched, his latch is great, and there is no more pain but it still is harder than I expected.
I GIVE ALL BREASTFEEDING MOMS MAD CREDIT!!
Mason eats roughly every hour and a half to two hours if I'm lucky (sometimes it's every 45 mins to an hour). I seriously feed ALL day unless I pump and then take a break by giving him pumped milk from a bottle. Luckily he has no problem with nipple confusion. I didn't realize how much breast feeding takes, it's not like a bottle fed baby that rests in between feeds and goes 3-4 hrs easy in between feeds and you can't really take a break unless you pump but then you are attached to a pump for at least 10 mins. You really don't get a break when you choose to breastfeed.
They also a rent kidding when they say baby can smell you, sometimes it's so hard for me to calm him because he can smell me and thinks he should be eating if he is with me. So its challenging to only be able to calm him by feeding him.
Then comes all the questions with breastfeeding, can I take this medicine or use this oil while breastfeeding? Is he getting enough? Is he still hungry or just fussy? Is he gassy from something I ate? How is he still eating (some days I have fed 3 hrs straight)? With formula most of these arent issues.
Then comes all the changes with your breasts. I didn't realize how easily they get engorged and how painful It really is. If Mason goes over 3 hrs (usually when we supplement with formula) and I haven't pumped OMG I'm dying. I never expected that, i have heard of the cracking and bleeding but never heard about the pain and how often you get engorged.
But through all of this I'm not complaining more just saying how I was unaware just how hard it is to breastfeed and truly understand why they say nursing mom's are superheroes. Especially with the fact that breastfeeding is also very exhausting emotionally and physically. I totally believe now that you burn on average 500 calories while breastfeeding because it literally drains you.
But I'm proud to say I'm still breastfeeding even though we have started supplementing at night because he just isn't getting satisfied with my milk at night but that's ok again FED IS BEST.
Also I'm not saying formula feeding is easy it comes with it's own set of demands and challenges.
FED IS BEST. And being a parent of a newborn is hard, exhausting, and challenging no matter what is best for each baby.
I have considered giving up a handful of times but with it being cold and flu season I know breastfeeding is a major plus and I feel like this is something I never expected to be able to do so just giving up isn't an option because I feel lucky I have the chance to breast feed. Will we make it a year probably not but we have made it four weeks and I'm going to take it day by day and hopefully make it at least 2 months and see from there. This hasn't been easy but it's worth it.
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Mason Alan
For about the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy I made sure I had a babysitter to watch Dillon during my doctors appointments just in case they needed to do an exam or in case something went wrong and they sent me to L&D. I also would try to clean the house and ours rooms a bit incase we would be gone for awhile and other people had to come help watch Dillon or so i could easily explain where things were incase something was needed. Thank goodness I did too because unfortunately we had quite a few unexpected complications and were sent to L&D. At my 37 week appt I finally scheduled my csection for December 19th at 130pm and had no issues that week so we decided to bring Dillon to our 38 week appt so he could hear brothers heartbeat one more time before he was born. I didn't have time to clean and literally didn't bring anything with me (no snacks for Dillon, no hospital bad, no toys for Dillon, no carseat, no phone chargers, I didn't even have a phone because my phone had crashed) we just jumped in the car and went to what should have been a quick 10 min appt. Next thing we know my bp was elevated and my doctor said she felt it was time to have a baby because with how my last delivery went she didn't want to risk anything and definitely didn't want to risk me having a seizure on top of my infection risk. We were in shock and headed to the hospital with Dillon. They checked me in but since I had eaten on the way to the Dr appt we had to wait 6 hrs before we could do the surgery, so we started the long wait and thankfully my parents and sister were able to drive out and pick up Dillon.
Finally after the long wait they came and got me to head to the operating room. This csection was sooo much different than Dillons which I expected.
First I walked into the OR, with Dillon since I had an epidural they wheeled me in.
Then the part I was worried about the spinal tap, with Dillon I had the epidural so I didn't know how numb I was last time and how much I would feel this time, but it was actually super easy except that they had me lean on a rolling table so when they did the numbing shot I moved forward than they realized they forgot to have a nurse on the other side of the table to help support me. They had me lay down and strapped down both my arms, with Dillon they only strapped down one which I liked so much better.
At this point they brought Dean in, way sooner than they did with Dillon, with Dillon they actually did the first cut before bringing Dean in.
They then set up the curtain which I was super excited about. It was their first time using it so they were excited too. It was a solid curtain but just as they went to pull Mason out they took off the blue part so i could see him. I was extremely greatful for this too since I didn't get to see him after they took him to check him out.
So they took him to check him out and clean him and weigh/measure him and then we're going to bring him back for immediate skin to skin but unfortunately he had some rapid breathing and had to be monitored by the nicu team for an hour.
The nice thing about loma Linda is they let my family see me in recovery and let them all into the nursery to meet Mason while he was being monitored. (At pomona i was alone thr first hour then they let me have Dillon the second hour but i couldnt see anyone not even Dean until we got to our room) Dillon was so excited to meet his brother and then so happy to be able to visit me and tell me he met brother.
After an hour they brought Mason to recovery with me and about an hour later we were moved to our room.
At that point our recovery was soo much easier. I immediately wanted to start walking and wanted the catheter out. But my night nurse said 24hrs. . . So I waited and asked my morning nurse (lol) and she said as long as I felt ready she was fine with it so roughly 15 hrs after surgery I got myself up and got the catheter out. It was so much easier to stand up and walk this time then it was with Dillon and my recovery followed being much easier.
Mason was such a calm baby and other than having some latching issues was so easy and slept most of the time, as long as we didn't put him down. The middle of the first night though he got extremely fussy and Dean and I knew something wasn't right. Around 4am we asked for formula because we had a feeling he wasn't getting enough, the nurs3s gave us a bit of a hard time but as soon as they saw him suck down the formula realized I was right and he needed to be supplemented. After he got some formula he was back to his happy sleepy self. My Dr came in the following morning and asked when I wanted to go home, we knew csection policy was 72 hrs but explained we had somewhere we really wanted to be Friday morning and she said that I looked great and she had now problem discharging me after 48 hrs! I was so happy. They started all of Masons tests and he was completely healthy except for some jaundice and a blocked tear duct. He did lose 10% of his body weight and was 7lbs when we went home but has quickly regained the weight.
Since we both were healthy all of our doctors agreed to discharge us at 48 hrs (2days vs the 6 days we stayed with Dillon) but we had to go back to the doctor Friday, Monday, and Tuesday to follow up on the jaundice.
Even though we were not expecting to deliver Mason a week early it went so smoothly and I'm glad we did and glad he was delivered safely and we were both healthy.
Mason Alan Busser
12/12/17 5:15pm
7lbs 12oz 19 1/2in
Loma Linda University
Finally after the long wait they came and got me to head to the operating room. This csection was sooo much different than Dillons which I expected.
First I walked into the OR, with Dillon since I had an epidural they wheeled me in.
Then the part I was worried about the spinal tap, with Dillon I had the epidural so I didn't know how numb I was last time and how much I would feel this time, but it was actually super easy except that they had me lean on a rolling table so when they did the numbing shot I moved forward than they realized they forgot to have a nurse on the other side of the table to help support me. They had me lay down and strapped down both my arms, with Dillon they only strapped down one which I liked so much better.
At this point they brought Dean in, way sooner than they did with Dillon, with Dillon they actually did the first cut before bringing Dean in.
They then set up the curtain which I was super excited about. It was their first time using it so they were excited too. It was a solid curtain but just as they went to pull Mason out they took off the blue part so i could see him. I was extremely greatful for this too since I didn't get to see him after they took him to check him out.
So they took him to check him out and clean him and weigh/measure him and then we're going to bring him back for immediate skin to skin but unfortunately he had some rapid breathing and had to be monitored by the nicu team for an hour.
The nice thing about loma Linda is they let my family see me in recovery and let them all into the nursery to meet Mason while he was being monitored. (At pomona i was alone thr first hour then they let me have Dillon the second hour but i couldnt see anyone not even Dean until we got to our room) Dillon was so excited to meet his brother and then so happy to be able to visit me and tell me he met brother.
After an hour they brought Mason to recovery with me and about an hour later we were moved to our room.
At that point our recovery was soo much easier. I immediately wanted to start walking and wanted the catheter out. But my night nurse said 24hrs. . . So I waited and asked my morning nurse (lol) and she said as long as I felt ready she was fine with it so roughly 15 hrs after surgery I got myself up and got the catheter out. It was so much easier to stand up and walk this time then it was with Dillon and my recovery followed being much easier.
Mason was such a calm baby and other than having some latching issues was so easy and slept most of the time, as long as we didn't put him down. The middle of the first night though he got extremely fussy and Dean and I knew something wasn't right. Around 4am we asked for formula because we had a feeling he wasn't getting enough, the nurs3s gave us a bit of a hard time but as soon as they saw him suck down the formula realized I was right and he needed to be supplemented. After he got some formula he was back to his happy sleepy self. My Dr came in the following morning and asked when I wanted to go home, we knew csection policy was 72 hrs but explained we had somewhere we really wanted to be Friday morning and she said that I looked great and she had now problem discharging me after 48 hrs! I was so happy. They started all of Masons tests and he was completely healthy except for some jaundice and a blocked tear duct. He did lose 10% of his body weight and was 7lbs when we went home but has quickly regained the weight.
Since we both were healthy all of our doctors agreed to discharge us at 48 hrs (2days vs the 6 days we stayed with Dillon) but we had to go back to the doctor Friday, Monday, and Tuesday to follow up on the jaundice.
Even though we were not expecting to deliver Mason a week early it went so smoothly and I'm glad we did and glad he was delivered safely and we were both healthy.
Mason Alan Busser
12/12/17 5:15pm
7lbs 12oz 19 1/2in
Loma Linda University
Thursday, December 7, 2017
RAI treatment update
Tonight is Dean Busser's first night home. It was so good to have him around today and Dillon was so excited to have daddy home. It also feels so good to all be under the same roof tonight even if we are all in different rooms. It's a huge pressure off my shoulders knowing he is here if I go into labor and won't miss the delivery. It feels so good to have the complete isolation behind us and I can't wait to be past this completely.
Dean has done pretty well through all of this, it has definitely made him weak and exhausted especially not having thyroid medication but he is so strong and only has one more day before he starts his thyroid medication. We are taking extra precautions through all of this and staying apart, limiting contact, and sleeping apart for extra days just to be 100% sure the boys are safe (they required two days and said if we want to be cautious limit extended contact and sleep apart for 5 days, we stayed apart for 3 days and are limiting extended contact and sleeping apart for 7 days we also aren't hugging or holding hands or kissing for 7 days when they only suggested 2-5 days)
This whole thing has definitely been weird, last night we got together for the first time for a few hours and not being able to hug, kiss, or hold hands was strange, now being in the same house sleeping in separate rooms is even stranger, BUT knowing he will be healthy and this will be over before Mason is here makes it all worth it.
Monday life will go back to normal and this will all be a distant memory. I'm ready to have my husband back to normal and Dillon's so ready for his daddy to be able to play and cuddle.
Monday Dean will have a full body scan to check for any possible cancer and Tuesday he has a follow up for the lung bleed and ulcer and to schedule his repeat brochoscope. Tuesday is also my final Dr appt before Mason's csection. Dean returns to work Wednesday and works through Sunday and then is off for a little over a week for family bonding. These last few weeks of 2017 are going to be crazy but hopefully all happy moments from here on out.
Dean has done pretty well through all of this, it has definitely made him weak and exhausted especially not having thyroid medication but he is so strong and only has one more day before he starts his thyroid medication. We are taking extra precautions through all of this and staying apart, limiting contact, and sleeping apart for extra days just to be 100% sure the boys are safe (they required two days and said if we want to be cautious limit extended contact and sleep apart for 5 days, we stayed apart for 3 days and are limiting extended contact and sleeping apart for 7 days we also aren't hugging or holding hands or kissing for 7 days when they only suggested 2-5 days)
This whole thing has definitely been weird, last night we got together for the first time for a few hours and not being able to hug, kiss, or hold hands was strange, now being in the same house sleeping in separate rooms is even stranger, BUT knowing he will be healthy and this will be over before Mason is here makes it all worth it.
Monday life will go back to normal and this will all be a distant memory. I'm ready to have my husband back to normal and Dillon's so ready for his daddy to be able to play and cuddle.
Monday Dean will have a full body scan to check for any possible cancer and Tuesday he has a follow up for the lung bleed and ulcer and to schedule his repeat brochoscope. Tuesday is also my final Dr appt before Mason's csection. Dean returns to work Wednesday and works through Sunday and then is off for a little over a week for family bonding. These last few weeks of 2017 are going to be crazy but hopefully all happy moments from here on out.
Friday, December 1, 2017
December
December. . . I have anxiously awaited this month with so many mixed emotions.
In the beginning of 2017 we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and Dillon turning 2, then a few weeks later we got the biggest surprise blessing Easter morning that we were pregnant . From that day forward I have been looking forward to December. Wondering what the rest of the year would have in store as we prepared to become a family of four.
Then mid August our year took another unexpected turn when Dean found the lump in his neck. Trying to figure out what was going on and getting bad news on surgery day, October 13th, we then had to try to schedule everything and still prepare for Mason. Last month we scheduled deans radioactive iodine treatment and prayed mason would cooperate and not come early so that we didn't have to reschedule. Every doctors appointment and every time I was sent to labor and delivery we just wanted a clean bill of health for mason and to be able to go home.
Now here we are December 1st, 3 days from his treatment, and I'm once again full of emotions. I am so grateful God answered our prayers and Dean will be able to complete his treatment before Mason arrives but I'm also scared. Scared for the possibility of Dean missing the delivery and scared for the next week without Dean. I'm going to take it extremely easy and hope Mason stays comfy and am going to try to keep Dillon distracted from the fact daddy isn't home. Thankfully I have my amazing family to support us and help us through all of this.
Starting Friday will be all new emotions, excitement to have Deans treatment behind us, excitement to be 38 weeks pregnant, excitement to have Dean home, and excitement for Dillon to be becoming a big brother. But also nerves as the countdown to csection day begins. My Csection is scheduled for December 19th at 130 and as excited and ready as I am to hold Mason and finally have him here, so many other emotions come with it. I'm not looking forward to the hospital stay and being away from Dillon, I'm a little nervous for the csection itself, and then also just the normal mom fears of having two littles and how we will adjust to this new chapter.
I am praying this month goes smoothly, that there are no complications with Deans treatment and it gets it all, that his follow up for the bleeding in his lungs goes well and doesn't show any other complications, that my csection goes smoothly and recovery is fast and Mason is healthy, that Dillon remains excited enjoys Christmas and enjoys being a big brother, and that we end 2017 on a good note and in good health.
In the beginning of 2017 we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and Dillon turning 2, then a few weeks later we got the biggest surprise blessing Easter morning that we were pregnant . From that day forward I have been looking forward to December. Wondering what the rest of the year would have in store as we prepared to become a family of four.
Then mid August our year took another unexpected turn when Dean found the lump in his neck. Trying to figure out what was going on and getting bad news on surgery day, October 13th, we then had to try to schedule everything and still prepare for Mason. Last month we scheduled deans radioactive iodine treatment and prayed mason would cooperate and not come early so that we didn't have to reschedule. Every doctors appointment and every time I was sent to labor and delivery we just wanted a clean bill of health for mason and to be able to go home.
Now here we are December 1st, 3 days from his treatment, and I'm once again full of emotions. I am so grateful God answered our prayers and Dean will be able to complete his treatment before Mason arrives but I'm also scared. Scared for the possibility of Dean missing the delivery and scared for the next week without Dean. I'm going to take it extremely easy and hope Mason stays comfy and am going to try to keep Dillon distracted from the fact daddy isn't home. Thankfully I have my amazing family to support us and help us through all of this.
Starting Friday will be all new emotions, excitement to have Deans treatment behind us, excitement to be 38 weeks pregnant, excitement to have Dean home, and excitement for Dillon to be becoming a big brother. But also nerves as the countdown to csection day begins. My Csection is scheduled for December 19th at 130 and as excited and ready as I am to hold Mason and finally have him here, so many other emotions come with it. I'm not looking forward to the hospital stay and being away from Dillon, I'm a little nervous for the csection itself, and then also just the normal mom fears of having two littles and how we will adjust to this new chapter.
I am praying this month goes smoothly, that there are no complications with Deans treatment and it gets it all, that his follow up for the bleeding in his lungs goes well and doesn't show any other complications, that my csection goes smoothly and recovery is fast and Mason is healthy, that Dillon remains excited enjoys Christmas and enjoys being a big brother, and that we end 2017 on a good note and in good health.
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