1 week

It has been 1 week since everything happened. I remember wanting answers the entire process but then when we got them it all happened so quickly and I felt like I couldn't catch by breath let alone process what was happening.
Surgery wise I am healing, today is day 2 on my own with the boys and back to our routine. The first couple days were rough and the pain of climbing stairs or trying to move would literally take my breath away and I would get nauseous. The swelling is intense and my left side is still quite tender but it is improving and honestly when I think what all my body has gone through it's pretty amazing how quickly our bodies can heal. After 4 days I was able to move better and start to get back to some what normal but also began to process.
Emotionally healing has been different. When we were going through the process I didnt know how to feel. I was sad at the thought of losing the baby but didnt have answers and barely had time to even realize I was pregnant. It wasnt until I was laying on the operating table that I really realized I had lost a baby. By that point the baby had already passed but the thought of being pregnant was still so new that losing the baby was hard to comprehend. It wasnt until day 2 of healing that it really really hit me. Then on top of losing a baby your body goes on a hormonal roller coaster as it gets rid of the hcg. I didnt realize how hormonal I would be since it was still so early on. The weirdest things will remind me or hit me and it will take everything to hold it together. But I know it will just take time to heal and am constantly reminding myself this is all part of God's plan.
I want to say thank you to everyone who can called, sent text messages, commented on facebook and stopped by. I cannot explain how much it means to me and how each of you have helped make this a little chapter in Dean and my life a little easier.